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The story of Hope
Hope is a young woman of twenty-two years. She graduated at college in America, and wanted do her master’s study in that country. But she was not accepted at the college that she applied for. As a result she recently returned to Korea. Because of the failure she could not renew her study permit for America and because of financial constraints she could no longer stay there. Her parents called her to Korea where they are living. In Korea she found a temporary job to save money for further study in America. But she could not adjust in Korea because she saw herself as a foreigner in Korea. She wants to return to America in future for further study. Her mother does not approve of her going back to America. She wants her to settle in Korea. This causes many problems between Hope and her parents. Her mother worried as Hope did not share her real thoughts and feelings with her parents. There is always tension between them.
I contacted her in this regard and interviews were carried on from the beginning of 2007 through the end of 2008. Interviews carried on mainly through networking and internet phone, with face to face interviews during the time of my visit to Korea.
At the first interview, she talked about emotional distress which often leaves her feeling down. This feeling of depression seriously affected her, so that she could not concentrate on her work, she lost confidence in life, and was really unstable. I was quite surprise that she immediately brought the issue of her emotional distress instead of giving an answer to my question. In this regard, I was aware that this was the most important matter for her at that time of the interview, so I decided to discuss it with her. In her stories the theme of separation recurs time and again during the interview sessions. Other issues were also discussed. The story of Hope is summarized below in the order she preferred.
Separation from parents for primary education
For the sake of missionary work, Hope’s family settled down in a rural area after their arrival. There was no school for the children. Thus, in order to consider their children’s education, her parents chose to send the children to a boarding school as most of the missionary families in the team generally did. Thus, she and her brother were sent to boarding school a few days after they arrived on the mission field. She was nine years old at the time. The children were not involved in the decision making process of schooling options. A few days after they arrived on the mission field, they were sent to the boarding school, where nothing was familiar to them. At that time their parents had no knowledge of alternative ways of schooling. They thought boarding school was the best option for educating their children on the mission field. Because of their way of thinking, the children were separated from their parents from the ages of seven and nine.
She still remembers that they were terribly afraid to be separated from their parents and of being strangers at the boarding school. She said that she had always struggled with fear since she was ‘a little girl’. She thought that her parents chose God and the ministry above her and her brother, and she did not know how to deal with it. In her mind her parents only thought of God and the ministry, but did not care about their children. She said, “I was very angry with my parents and with God.” “My parents only thought about God’s calling. When I needed them and their love, they didn’t care about me, they only thought about God and the ministry. I was really afraid of being alone at the boarding school.” In this way, she thought that her parents showed great integrity for missionary work and God, but she did not receive the love from them which she needed. At the boarding school, children had dorm parents and they were grateful, but she was not satisfied with them. She needed to get love from her parents. She said, “Actually, I remember that I cried a lot when I was a little child. Emotionally I could not say good bye to my parents. I cried a lot when I left home after the school holidays. I did not want go back to school.” It seems that she had real difficulty being separated from her parents after spending time at home. She was hurt and had bad memories of reunions and separations. At the boarding school, she noticed that there were other missionary children whose parents were staying close to the school. She envied them.
The atmosphere at the boarding school
Another major problem she faced at school was its atmosphere. She stated that the school exercised a very strict discipline, and expected the children to obey the rules. Even though she agreed with discipline, she disliked school for its too strict environment. Children were caned when they made mistakes. Some teachers even spanked the children until they were bruised. It fostered her sense of fear and insecurity. She said, “Because of fear I was obsessed to be a perfect child. So I was never satisfied with what I did. I had no freedom. The school was much too strict, so I always felt that I was not good enough.” “I think a child needs to be free. I have felt like that all of my life. If I try just to be myself, I still struggle with it. I always think about what other people think about me, but ironically I don’t care about others.” She also stated that the school’s religious sentiment had been too excessive for little children. She said, “One specific night the teachers confiscated children’s dolls, stating that they encouraged fantasy and superstition, so the dolls were burnt in a fire. The dolls were presents from their parents to comfort the children. They symbolized the love of their parents. So many children were shocked, hurt and very sick. We were shocked and crying. We couldn’t understand why the teachers did such a thing… even now I don’t know whether it was a Christian act…” In surroundings like this she was unstable and missed her parents immensely. She was terribly afraid to stay at school away from her parents. Because of the separation she spent all of her energy coping with feelings of sorrow, uncertainty and unrest. She had no interest in study because of her confused feelings. Looking back, she has negative memories of primary school because of the experiences mentioned above. However, she has some good memories of friends at the school.
CHAPTER 1
RESEARCH BACKGROUND
1 THE CONTEXT OF THIS RESEARCH
1.1 The history of education for Korean missionary children
1.2 The rapid increase of Korean missionary children
1.3 Reasons for providing for the educational needs of Korean missionary children
2 MOTIVATION FOR AND DELIMITATION OF THIS STUDY
2.1 My story
2.2 The story of my children
2.3 The case studies of two Korean missionary families
2.4 The motivation for this research
3 GENERAL ASPECT ABOUT MISSIONARY CHILDREN
3.1 A definition of missionary children
3.2 The characteristics of missionary children
4 SUMMARY
CHAPTER 2
RESEARCH PARADIGM AND PROCEDURE
1 RESEARCH PARADIGM
1.1 Postfoundationalism as reaction
1.2 Social constructionism
1.3 Narrative approach
1.4 Ethical consideration
1.5 Spiritual influence
2 RESEARCH PROCEDURE
2.1 Language
2.2 Interviews
2.3 Networking
2.4 Notes
2.5 Writing letters
2.6 Reflection
2.7 Interdisciplinary conversation
3 SUMMARY
CHAPTER 3
MISSIONARY CHILDREN AND EDUCATIONAL ISSUES
1 INTRODUCTION
2 TRADITIONAL APPROACHES TO EDUCATING MISSIONARY CHILDREN
2.1 Historical approach
2.2 Contemporary tendency
3 ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS FOR SCHOOLING
3.1 International schools
3.2 MK/Christian schools
3.3 Local/National schools
3.4 Homeschooling
3.5 Korean schools
4 LANGUAGE ISSUES
4.1 Mother tongue learning
4.2 National/Local language learning
4.3 Bilingualism
5 EDUCATIONAL VIEW OF KOREAN MISSIONARY CHILDREN
5.1 Historical approach
5.2 The state of contemporary education
6 THE EDUCATION POLICY STATEMENT OF SIM INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL
6.1 SIM policy statements about parents’ responsibility and accountability
6.2 SIM’s responsibility for the education
6.3 SIM policy of subsidy for education
6.4 The possible role of the SIM sending offices and field offices
6.5 The perspective of SIM parents on their children’s education
6.6 Parents’ responsibility and accountability
7 SUMMARY
CHAPTER 4
THE CHILDREN’S NARRATIVES
1 INTRODUCTION
2 LISTENING TO THE CHILDREN’S NARRATIVES
2.1 The story of Hope
2.2 The story of Dreamer
2.3 The story of Challenger
2.4 The story of Visionary
2.5 The story of Faithful
3 SUMMARY
CHAPTER 5
THE DEVELOPMENT STORY
1 INTRODUCTION
2 CHILDREN’S STORIES RETOLD
2.1 MK/Christian boarding schools
2.2 Relationships with parents and friends
2.3 University education and reentry
2.4 The financial situation of Korean missionary families
2.5 Language learning, cultural adjustment and identity
2.6 Young adult issues
2.7 Reflection
3 INTERDISCIPLINARY CONVERSATIONS
3.1 Reflections from missionary parents
3.2 Reflection from literature
4 SUMMARY
CHAPTER 6
DREAMING THE FUTURE STORY
1 INTRODUCTION
2 THE ALTERNATIVE STORIES OF CHILDREN
2.1 The preferred stories of Hope
2.2 The preferred stories of Dreamer
2.3 The preferred stories of Challenger
2.4 The preferred stories of Visionary
2.5 The preferred stories of Faithful
3 SUMMARY
CHAPTER 7
REFLECTIONS ON THE RESEARCH
1 REFLECTION ON THE RESEARCH PROCESS
1.1 Period of the research interviews
1.2 Reflection on the research aims
1.3 Proposal for an alternative perspective on educational difficulties Korean missionary children face on the mission field
1.4 Selection of the co-researchers and the physical distance between the researcher and the coresearcher
2 SUGGESTIONS FOR FURTHER STUDY
WORKS CONSULTED
